Da Bear Necessities (FAQ)

Who are Da Bearz?

Exactly how many of 'em are there?

Why are they Keyboard challenged?

What's with the Valium

What are their favourite B5 episodes (and why)?

...and their least favourite B5 episodes?

What do they really think of JMS?

Who is moMMi?

Who are Da Bearz?

A Hug of militant Teddy Bearz currently domiciled on several B5 message boards in cy-bear space. Their original raison d'etre was to keep an eye on the Internet activities of a certain TV producer whom they hold personally responsible for the current anti-Bearist climate in Science Fiction. For more information, check out Bearz 101 which tells the story of the Genesis of Da Bearz.

They have recently widened their horizons to include monitoring broadcasts of Xena: Warrior Princess for Bear content (with some success) and vehemently deny any suggestion that their chief motivation for this is in any way related to their predilection for "buff blonde bards". They haven't found any bears in Stargate-SG1 yet...

...but they're working on it.

Exactly how many of 'em are there?

At the time of writing, the head count stands at ..55...56.....57...58......er.....62.....77....80....84....85.....86.....90 - we stopped counting at 100 - it was too depressing. They move pretty fast so keeping score gets kinda hard as the numbers grow [For the latest figures - check out the Snout Count] . Since the hug was founded in 1996 they have recruited in Germany, London, New York, San Francisco,Torquay, South Wales, Birmingham (the one in the UK), Islington (annually) New York, Washington, Boston and Illinois. The Cult of Da Bearz also welcomes affiliate gropes groups. To date, there are four satellite hugs run with missionary zeal by Henry (currently AWOL in New York), Eldritch, Percy, BJ, Pingu McKenzie, Chester and a presently unnamed migrant. These are located in New York, East London, West London, Virginia Beach, Leytonstone, The Mojave Desert and New England respectively.

Why are they Keyboard challenged?

C'mon! Have you ever known a bear that could type??? Get real!

OK, they've been asked this question on-line a few times. Here's the answer they posted themselves:

 tYping iz A tEaM eFFoRt; ONe BeaR On ThE cApS kEy, OnE On shiFT, OnE oN tHe RetURn, fOuR On ThE MaiN KEyS aNd tHrEe GLUed To cOnTRoL-ALt-DeLeTe

juSt bE tHanKfUL wE dOn'T tRY SynChroNiSed SwiMMiNg......

What's with the Valium?

The paramilitary arm of Da Bearz - Da Bearz Brigade - was established in January 1996. Their chief weapon is fear...er, correction.... their two chief weapons are fear and a fanatical consumption of Hunny and Valium. Late in '97 they metamorphosed into B.A.R.F

Following a Brigade raid on the Home of the Na'Ka'Leen Feeder in Germany, one of these little troopers was inadvertently left behind as a Bear of War (BOW).

Intensive research by the Feeder (motivated by a desperate need to keep this hyperactive Bear sedated) discovered that these two substances, when fed to the victim in the correct doses, could produce a Barfing fit of Biblical proportions.

This discovery, and the resulting cleaning bills, brought about the postal liberation of this little ralphing terrorist - now known as "El Barfo" - with no return address

Da Bearz currently enjoy a cautious alliance with the Feeder (who has also been trashed by JMS) based on the "enemy of my enemy is my friend" principle [Heck - it worked for Bester].

 

What are their favourite B5 episodes (and why)?

• Divided Loyalties : Great episode, featuring not one but 2 - count 'em - 2 teddies (sadly they were just being worn by Ivanova and Talia)

• Grail: First starring role for Da Bearz' pal, the Na'Ka'Leen Feeder

• The Parliament of Dreams: "Everybody's Cute"

...and their least-favorite B5 episodes?

• There All The Honour Lies: No prizes for guessing why

What do they really think of JMS?

Their attitude is pretty charitable given his anti-bearist activities. Although diplomatic relations have been terminated, (actually they were never established) the current official view is that he has simply succumbed to the Dark Side of the Force. In truth he remains their favourite "Unca" Joe. They enjoyed a minor triumph in the summer of '98 when they got him to admit to at least one act of cuteness in his pre-B5 past.

 

Who is moMMi?

'moMMi' as she has been dubbed by several 'Friends of the Fur' is an otherwise sane, stable arctophile (with obviously way too much time on her hands) who happened to jokingly comment on-line that her collection of Teddy Bears had been seriously traumatised by There All The Honour Lies... and would have appreciated some kind of warning before the broadcast so that she could prepare them