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From: Lucas T Bear
However, he was deported from communicado last week after another lawnmower/man-in-Wookie-costume incident, so he's back doing his usual Christmas card gig for all the FoFs (with a little bit of 'help' from Bronson, see attached). In fact, during their sabbatical, Team Ursanity (the group formerly known as Da Bearz) has been very busy and Lucas in particular has been coming and going like a ferret in a dodgem car (or like a bear onna lawnmower). He even sub-contracted a little web-building work from me and the bears' first site: "A Fowl Canard", was launched over the summer. ( http://www.arthbach.com/perry/ ) Even though the FoF newsletters have been on hiatus, Ursanity.com has still been updated periodically. It now includes a special Furry edition of "Friends" produced by their own production company, "Universal Ursine". You can download it here: http://www.ursanity.com/da_lair/bbb/universal_ursine.htm#bearz More recently the bears have been excitedly getting ready for Christmas. Raising cash so they can party 'til they puke has been their top priority for the last few weeks and a variety of scams have been employed. The auction of "Commando" underwear on EBay did exceptionally well as did sales of their recent magnum opus "G.W Bush's Guide to Promoting Democracy (and finding your @rse with both hands)". I'll have to close there, I can hear Lucas organising his 'posse' (aka The North Dagenham Massive) to go "Terrapin Bowling" and I have a bad feeling that he isn't using the wrong word... Everyone here hopes that everyone there has a splendid [insert name of preferred revels here] and if you're really unlucky, normal furry services will be resumed in the New Year. Peace on Earth, Goodwill to all Bears....and other species Carol PA. to Lucas T. Bear (motto: "Truly, Madly, Cuddly" ) From: Lucas T. Bear Greetings Friend of the Fur [Before anyone corrects me, I know this is the 13th edition of the FoF newsletter but our furry overlords have been a bit superstitious ever since they crossed a black cat's path and got mistaken for a scratching post] Right now Lucas is resting. He's quite tired out from a week of running around in his Arsenal shirt, yelling his head off because they won the FA Cup again. The concussion isn't helping much either. Hopefully this time he's learned his lesson about not copying the football tradition of running while wearing his shirt over his head. However since his IQ is even lower than his Tog value, somehow I doubt it. It's been another busy time here at Ursine Towers. Lucas has been posing mercilessly for the cameras and showing off all his new costumes. Having had his mousing privileges restored for deceptively docile behaviour, he recently acquired his own online photo album. Consequently he has been posting his photos there rather than trying to attach them to newsletters. There are a few dozen costumes online already and - judging by the repeated cries of "does my tush look big in this??" - there are more to come. See them at : http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucas_bear/ . I think all this modelling has rather gone to his head. He's joined a gym and has confided in me that his latest ambition is to become a perma-tanned Hunk called Baz. When I queried the feasibility of this, he got quite defensive and declared that Baz is a perfectly acceptable name. At least one of Lucas's costumes will be familiar to anyone who survived meeting The Bear at Redemption last February (and hasn't subsequently requested a restraining order). Although LB is still quite miffed about having to wear this particular outfit for much of the event, a high point of my weekend was watching a passing civilian execute a perfect double-take at the sight of Darth Vader complete with paws and furry ears. I've tried explaining to LB just how cool he looked in that gear but he just tells me to "talk to the paw, cos the muzzle ain't listening". In addition to his photo album, Lucas now has a blog and has been periodically posting his thoughts on life, the universe and cuddly things. I'm not sure how long it will last but right now he seems drawn to blogging in much the same way that a lemming feels drawn to cliff faces. However, from an intellectual standpoint, LB needs help just to drool so don't expect too many life-changing insights from it just yet. Nevertheless if you cannot resist then take a peek at: http://fuzzy_logic.blogspot.com/ It's that time of the year when a young bear's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of volunteering for a 10km charity walk and then delegating the actual legwork to me. Consequently on June 19th Team Ursanity will be hitting the streets again on the Walk for Life to raise funds for Crusaid (indoors if wet). All proceeds go towards AIDS vaccine research and helping people with AIDS and HIV. Naturally LB and I would be pathetically grateful for any help and if you'd like to sponsor us you can either let me know by replying to this e-mail or fill out the online form at http://www.walkforlife.co.uk/ABHI [the odd name is because this year we're part of a work-related team] While we're doing a bit of advertising, your favourite furry sociopath has gone into the book-selling business, also for charity (Charity's such a lucky girl this year!). We've a limited number of autographed copies of the first two volumes of Michael Sheard's autobiography. All proceeds from this sale will go to Cancer Research. Both books are a cracking read (especially if you need to get a bear off to sleep) and I definitely recommend them. Full details are at: http://www.arthbach.com/sheard/ If you already have these books then you'll know how much fun they are so please spread the word online (help yourself to the banner ad for the site as well). Since his publisher has switched exclusively to selling e-books, these are the last hard copies available. And now a bear in a hoodie has materialised at my elbow demanding honey with menaces. I'd better go deal with him before he goes the full monty and adds a Burberry baseball cap to his ensemble. Right now I need a chav bear like I need to do a 10km Charity wal.... Oh bother. Best wishes PA. to Lucas T. Bear (motto: "Cerebrum vaccuoso") From: Lucas T. Bear I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THIS TO ME!!! *Please* sponsor this BeaR PS. More info about Crusaid Crusaid has been working for nearly 20 years to help people affected by HIV and AIDS. All funds raised are used to relieve poverty and illness caused by the virus, educate, and support vaccine research through independent fundraising and grant making. This is the 16th Walk for Life they have organised and the 3rd to be supported by a certain panicking ursine. Firstly a huge thank you to everyone who sponsored Lucas for the Crusaid Walk last weekend. In just 4 days, our furry little sociopath got more sponsorship - £144.87 - than I'd raised in 4 weeks (and I'm OK with that....honest). The last few sponsors wisely apologised for putting him quite so firmly 'in the papoose column' (incidentally, we also had an offer of 'papoose plans') and he was carried around the course in about 4 hours. The slow progress was partly due to 3,499 other walkers on the same route and but mostly due to the 17 pubs I had to drag him out of. We arrived early. Lucas used his laconic ursine charm to blag his way past the people on the registration desk (i.e. he waggled his tufts alluringly and promised not to bite). Once we'd signed in, I ran the usual check list: "OK, LB, this is a 10 kilometre walk..." Shocked, he interrupted me: "I thought you were kidding!! T....t....ten KILOMETRES?!?!?!" "Yes. So do you need to go to the toilet?" "Not...any....more" he answered slowly, still looking startled and also a little uncomfortable. For those of you not in the UK, last Sunday was the hottest day of the year so far, so Lucas opted not to use the papoose and rode on my shoulder. Anyone who has followed us along a hotel corridor after a convention party will be familiar with the pose. Photos were taken but the camera briefly fell into furry paws about half-way round the route. The few that weren't censored during this time have been added to LB's flickr photo album at http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucas_bear/sets/474718/ . You will see from them that the little charmer has recruited yet another FoF although I understand she's since opted for aversion therapy and has signed the restraining order. It's also possible that something may have popped up in the media this week since he shamelessly schmoozed a press photographer around Westminster Bridge. I haven't seen any photos myself so please let me know if you spot anything. However do it quietly - he's already totally confused by the notion that they're all 'bear' on Page 3. Since getting home, Lucas has been 'recuperating'. In his case this involves lying on his back, staring at the ceiling and groaning a lot. I've suggested he should go out, get some fresh air, maybe even play in the traffic but that just made 'Captain Cuddles' groan even more. However, yesterday he started to perk up and was even able to crawl a full 6 inches to the DVD player and watched his favourite movie "Ben Fur". I'll know he's fully recovered when all that chariot racing whets his appetite for extreme sports....like Tiddlywinks. Anyway, thanks once again to all of Lucas's sponsors (and mine!). Most of the money has been collected so LB will be standing down from hoodie-duty soon (I can tell you're relieved). Best wishes Carol (and LB...from a prone position on the floor) PS. A special thanks to 'T' who was a good enough sport not to be embarrassed by her office team-mate carrying a teddy bear and even undertook some bear-wrangling duties while I worked the camera. |
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