Da Bearz Lair - Bearz Armed Response Force

"Just a few Bearz with a hobby..."

Da fellas The Story so far.....
Da Bearz were supposed to be going into hi-bear-nation for the winter but they were too excited after a summer of frantic convention-going. Consequently, they've just been hanging about in their PJs, toying with HTML, playing the odd game of Trivial Pawsuit and generally getting underfoot.

And then somebody said "What about a bedtime story lads?" (Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time). Regrettably Da Bearz selected the Constitution of the USA ["wEE tHEE pEEpuLL..."].

All was well until they reached the second amendment:

".....tHEE riTe tOO.....BEAR ARMS???? aRGHHH!!!!!!!!"

As you can imagine, this has got them a little worried

Now they've metaphorically circled the wagons in Da Lair and formed the Bearz Armed Response Force (yeah, you guessed it - B.A.R.F). We recommend industrial-strength protective clothing if you really want more information. Then read on......

Are you a Bear? Feel oppressed? Not been hugged much recently? Ever had to audition for Babylonian productions?

Does this sound familiar?:

"Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump,bump,bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it"

"Winnie-the-Pooh" A.A Milne

It's Bear abuse at its worst - and in a children's story! It gets worse. Try this:

"The best thing about it was we shot it against blue screen, so you've got our FX guy standing there in front of a plexiglass window, with a blue screen behind him and he's got the bear with a rod up its ass, smacking it against this glass plate. It was one of those moments where you think "Well now my job is done"..."

JMS. TV Zone. Dec 1995

Appalled?

Wanna get even?

Think you have the Right Stuffing?

Well, now it's payback time!

Join your brothers in the Corps. Sign up with B.A.R.F today and become an S.O.B (Sibling Of Bearz).

James Bear 007
Licensed to Hug

Yes, he's got goggles and flippers. He's also got a BFG - YOU ask him why!!

Just fill out this form:

Yes! I am a Teddy Bear and proud of it!

Name:

E-mail address(optional)

Preferred Nom de Guerre.....er...Bear

I would like to enroll in the following training courses:

Barfing 101

Hugging for Beginners

Intermediate Growling

Advanced Cuteness Techniques

Special Seminar in "How to avoid getting your head bumped on the stairs"

Cuteness for those in denial

Any other suggestions?

Ready to take the pledge?

Well, hold that thought until I can get a CGI server sorted out - shouldn't be too much longer now....I hope

Rowan-San

Sgt Zack

Zack - master of Camouflage-but lousy dress sense

Still not sure? Here is an e-mail we received from one of the tyrannous oppressor jackals* during the coup d'etat that allowed BJ and his heroic forces to establish our the regional office in Norfolk, Virginia:

"Thanks a heap! BJ has been in here on the sly - and now there is an open carton in the garage, and I keep seeing small furred things out the corner of my eye. This is a ba...<mmmph!grblargh!rrrmphlhmph> <thud> Ahem. Tigger is...resting...right now. She likes it here. Honest."

And remember, BARF is everywhere.

* Sorry Tigger - got a bit carried away there......

Home * E-mail the Webmonsters * Guest Book * Links * Site Map
Bear Necessities * Meet Da Bearz * Something's Bruin * Bearz Behaving Badly

Da Bearz Lair is part of Ursanity.com